That's not iFunny.

Last night I was marveling at our 2 year-old son who likes to walk up to my mac when it's playing iTunes, and navigate past the (frequently annoying) animated dock and click the tiny button to start up the music "visualizer" (mesmerizing screen swirlies).

5 minutes ago, however, I discovered him at my computer with a new achievement. He figured out how to navigate into the iTunes Music Store and purchase songs.

Those two Matisyahu songs are coming out of your college fund, Bucko.

Legal for 16 years now, you twit.

I get "carded" a lot when purchasing alcohol, especially when I don't have my children with me. I've often joked that I don't look underage, I just look dishonest. Seriously: I DO NOT look under 21, nor do I dress like a teenager. Yet my husband, who is 2 years younger than I am, never seems to have to go through this silly procedure.

I guess I just look shifty.

Today I was running errands while the MIL watched the youngins, and I stopped at a grocery store to buy a bottle of wine. Australian Shiraz (ya just can't go wrong with those Aussie reds!). Now I suppose that buying one bottle of wine in the middle of the day may seem peculiar at a Florida Publix, but I wanted something for tonight with Jay, the Shiraz was on sale, and I had already bought all my groceries yesterday.

So at the register the cashier gave me a sour look, then pulled the bottle away from the scanner and just held it, like a mother yanking an unauthorized cookie away from a toddler. "I.D., please," she said with an irritated tone. This required me to go digging through my wallet again, which is ultra aggravating in the Speedy Checkout Lane with grumbly folks waiting behind me.

I grimaced and handed over my ID. Now usually at this point a cashier would make some sweet comment about me looking much younger, but this harpy actually plunked one hand on her hip, and then HELD MY LICENCE UP TO THE LIGHT. For a moment I thought she was going to call a manager over. And what the heck is accomplished by holding the ID up to a florescent ceiling???

Finally she handed back the card and completed the purchase, after shooting me a disapproving glance. She said nothing, not even a thank you. Y'know, I suppose that at the age of 37 I should be flattered, but frankly at the age of 37 it's just become annoying.

I look like an iiiiiiiiiiiiiidiot

For the record, this ridiculous shade of red is nothing, I repeat NOTHING, like the color pictured on the box of L'OREAL hair color. And I have a party to go to on Sunday!

*looking at reflection in mirrored G4 front panel*

The first person to call me Strawberry Shortcake loses an eye.