An end to the wafflement

I'll tell you... the story... as soon as... my 2-year old son... stops spinning me... in my office chair...

Now then. The names of people and places have been changed to protect the innocent (I never know who is going to be reading this):

I have this friend named... Giesel. She and her husband, Bray, have become tired of living in the hot, muggy, seasonless state of Snorida over the past 6 years. So Bray did a little looking around and was (sooner than expected) offered an awesome job in Winver, Dollarado. The problem with the job was that they wanted Bray to start work in 45 days. Not a small task for a couple living 2000 miles away, with 2 small children and cars that don't drive on ice and/or 45-degree inclines. But Bray and Giesel happily decided it was a great opportunity, so Bray put in his 2-week notice at his current job.

Bray's boss, Slob, was not happy. In fact he was downright upset and within an hour presented a counter-offer to keep Bray's butt in Snorida. Bray and Giesel hadn't anticipated this, and in a state of startled indecision accepted the counter offer.

Now Bray has two jobs.

But after a week of sleepless and beer-filled nights, Bray and Giesel redecided to take the Winver job. So once again, Bray told Slob he's leaving--no two ways about it. *definitive nod*

(In the meantime Giesel, wanting to be prepared for the rapidly-approaching cross-country move, began packing boxes and even dismantled her beloved mini-reef tank, tearfully donating the inhabitants to a local pet store. *sniff*)

The very next evening, Bray got a call at home saying that the multi-million dollar contract he had been working to acquire for many months was just awarded to his current job. Without Bray on the team, the contract could go south quickly, and Slob knew it. That's when the serious counter-offers and negotiations began.

Bray got off the phone and jogged to the liquor store. This was serious decision time and it would require serious alcohol.

Never in Giesel and Bray's life had there ever been such an excruciating duration of uncertainty. As they sat in bed, consuming Cosmos, they wrote up pros and cons lists. They flipped a coin. They flipped a coin best-2-out-of-3. They posed multiple "what-if" scenarios.

Finally Bray and Giesel decided to take the house-hunting trip to Dollarado as planned. They would make their final decision on the return flight. With a clink of their martini glasses, they decided to decide later.

The weather in Dollarado was exactly as they had hoped--gray and chilly. With the help of Flake, the Realtor, they viewed potential houses everywhere from Nevergreen to Spittleton. They even considered a mountain home with spectacular views, but the switchbacks were just insane. (We're talking guaranteed tragic death.) There was also a beautiful home in prestigious Soxborough, but 3 of the 4 houses in the cul-de-sac were suspiciously for sale also, and the massive pro wrestler and his massive plastic-breasted wife in the massive mansion next door seemed like a red flag.

No doubt I've lost all readers by now (even *I* dread having to go back through this whole schlameel to check for typos). But lemme just finish the story by saying, Bray and Giesel loved Dollarado and the friends that they visited there but the timing just wasn't right and the counter-offer was too enticing to deny.

For now.